I imagine that if aliens came to earth and landed in America, they would probably come away believing that in our country the way that we say hello is “How’s it going?” and the polite and appropriate response to that is for the second person to say “Busy!”
There may be a more overused word in our language, but I’m not sure what it would be.
It’s fall! And we’re in New Canaan, Connecticut, did I tell you that? We moved back in May after our crazy year in LA, though I’m beginning to suspect that every year in LA is a crazy year.
We probably didn’t make it any less crazy by living in Hollywood, I should add. Like, The Hollywood – and throw in the fact that driving Finn to preschool involved passing a whole lot of shops that sold things that you wouldn’t even be able to mention on basic cable, let alone want your four year old son to see, but I’ll tell you what: there are no hurricanes in LA, and for that we were grateful.
Unless you’re a starfish, you’re probably pretty busy with all kinds of comings and goings. For us, this year has sped by, and this blog has kind of fallen by the wayside with everything else going on. But I’ve missed blogging here, which has always been a favorite hang out spot for me, here with all you guys. So I’m back. And I brought Fritos! (And a bag of Cool Ranch coral polyps for my starfish peeps. Because yum!)
That’s not to say I’ve not been writing – I’ve written a bunch of stuff for The Huffington Post (which still sounds like a stoner magazine to me) and other stuff, but I’ve wanted to get back to this, my own blog, for two reasons.
I want to watch American Idol. I really do. Not because I love the show, but because it is something that my wife and I bond over, and it’s either that or The Bachelor. And The Bachelor, which falls somewhere between crack and cocaine on the addictive scale, is kind of depressing. Even the winners are doomed to a hideous public break up that people like me, recovering celebrity gossip junkie that I am, will track with breathless excitement.
So why don’t I watch American Idol? Good, clean fun that it is?
Because Simon Cowell left. And I could only watch Stephen Tyler make so many sexual innuendos at seventeen year old girls before I wanted to pour bleach down my ear canals. (Also, he looks like some kind of Brooklyn hipster’s leathery art project.)
Simon Cowell’s absence made me realize that for me, he, and he alone, made the show not just watchable, but inspirational. I know that’s a funny way to describe him. But watching Mr. Cowell reminded me how important it is to have that person in your life who can help you truly become not just yourself, but the best version of yourself.
Very Hallmark, I know – just hear me out.
I’m calling this a resolution-free new year, and I’m saying it loudly because I feel proud that I’m bucking the trend. (I’m a Trend-Bucker! Look out, Trends! You’re about to be Bucked!)
But that’s not exactly true. I did make one, I’m just sort of embarrassed about it.
Here it is: I resolved to not just eat food to be polite.
I do this all the time. Maybe we’re having a small get together, and somebody brings over a snack, like, say, Lays Brand Potato Chips. I am under the (apparent) misconception that like if I don’t wolf down the whole bowl, snatching it away others people and making audible gobbling noises, the person is going to have their feelings hurt because their chip-bringing wasn’t met with sufficient enthusiasm. Like that person’s entire self-worth is wrapped up in what percentage of the bowl of Lays has been eaten.